Should I stay or should I go?

[JazzCat]

I don't.... unless I have a gig or something else that requires all the fuss. I've gotten older and lazier, and don't primp and preen unless I am forced into it!
I should send you my "Morning Ugly" photo. You'd never know it was the same face.... SCAREY! LOL!

[charlie]

Thanks everyone for all the care and concern you have shown me here. Let me update you on the latest and greatest. First, I must digress a little. When she was in Hawaii I started thinking about how to protect myself in the future should we continue to work together, and so I contacted the lounge manager and posed this question to him. Given the circumstances, could he make out 2 checks..one for her and one for me. That way I would have my money and would not have to depend on her to get it. Which, incidently, I was having to wait till the following weekend to get my money for the previous weekend. She gave some excuse that she just wasn't able to go and cash the check. Well, Saturday night at the end of the gig, the lounge manager pulled me aside and gave me my check. I was told the girl singer was quite bitter about me getting my check separately, and the lounge manager told me I better watch my back. Well, I don't care. It's my money. I earned it. And after all that's happened, I don't trust her anymore. I think it's all a matter of control with her, like I work for her and not with her. She cannot and will not control me. So, here's what I did. I made it clear to her that in order for me to continue playing with her, we would both have individual checks. I know that some of our clients might not understand, but as long as I do my job to the best of my ability and they are satisfied, that is a small request to ask. If the client wants to know why we need 2 checks, I will tell them it's for tax purposes, which in all actuallity, it is. Meanwhile, as I play gigs with her I will actively seek out another singer to work with. It's sad to admit, but once something like this has happened, things will never be the same again. I have tried to put it behind me but I just can't seem to justify HER actons, no matter how I try. It's like Jazzcat said, there is simply no excuse other than illness or death that would warrant behavoir like she exhibited. I know I certainly would have never done so. I went through my mother passing away and getting divorced in the same year, but I never copped out and used those events as reasons to not show up for a gig, or cancel a gig. Believe me, I hurt so deeply I wanted to die, but I kept my head up and a smile on my face in front of the audience. After all, it's not their fault any of it happened. They're just there to be entertained.

So, in closing, what I have discovered is that once the grapes have spoiled, the taste is bitter. I am a professional, and I can maintain my composure in front of any crowd, but to continue to do and not have hopes for a happier, more productive situation is like being trapped in a cage like an animal. When the time is right, I will make my move and never look back.

Thanks everybody!

[JohnG]

As my final, given the circumstances and what you now say, I think you've made the right decision.
JohnG

[charlie]

Thanks JohnG...and might I add, you should be a moderator. You have a keen insight that is always refreshing and interesting. I wanted to give her another chance, John, I really did, but when I found out how she was acting because I asked for 2 checks, I realized that she had no remorse about what happened. On the contrary, she felt entitled to her actions and if I didn't like it, tough.... She showed that by getting upset because I took matters into my own hands and protected myself. She, of all people,should have understood why I did that. She just got upset because she realized that she was losing control over me and that I was smart enough to do something about it. I have a big heart, John, and I can and will forgive people. But, there comes a time when you start to lose your own self respect in the process. If I can't respect myself, then how can I ever respect others? Besides, there have been numerous other episodes that have happened in the past and I have forgave and forgot. After all, we have worked together for over 14 years in various musical situations. This last episode, however, was the straw that broke the camel's back. I just want to be happy playing music, not miserable. I'm sure you would agree that at the end of the day, a happy musician makes better music.

Charlie

[JohnG]

Hi Charlie,

Have no remorse, you gave her the chance but she's shown, by her actions, that she just left you to find out the hard way. Now its her turn to find out the hard way that she's shot herself in the foot. Find another singer, if you need to, (sounds like you don't need to, great) and get on with the business you enjoy, making music and entertaining people.

It's time now to put the whole incident behind you and move on with a newly gained sense of self-confidence. It is sad when people you trusted kick you in the nuts (not to mention painful, but it does let you sing an octave higher for a while.) The best thing IMHO is to be professional about it, get on with the business, try not to be vindictive just plan to cut her out of what you do. And move forward to a better, more happy life.

Wishing you all the best for the future Charlie, go sock it to them boy!
As always,
JohnG.

[rosybud1956]

JohnG. Please tell me what IMHO means. Cheers Lyn

[JohnG]

AFAIK, IMHO means in my humble opinion.
JohnG

[shyamwestwind]

I'm so happy for you, Charlie - just dont look back now . You'll find you are in a better wicket now and you'll wonder why this didnt happen before. Yes, musicians need to be happy to make good music.
All the very best to you, Charlie.

[charlie]

Thanks everybody for the kind words and support. I am determined to move forward and I will not be held back by her or anyone else for that matter. The time has come. Thanks again, everybody!

[Emerald Midi]

Sept 18, 2008 17:41:16 GMT charlie said:

Thanks everybody for the kind words and support. I am determined to move forward and I will not be held back by her or anyone else for that matter. The time has come. Thanks again, everybody!

That's the spirit! As they say in Hollywood, the show must go on