For all you computer whizz kids

[rogerb]

This made me chuckle - hope it does the same for you!! >


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one.
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Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry....
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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: ! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
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Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
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Tech support: What anti-virus programe do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus programe.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse it disappears.
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his printer is working fine."
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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

[Tiny]

hi rogerb
yepp made me chucke as well esp... one about
s/saver dissapearing keep sendin e,m in, rgds,
Tiny ;D

[cptkay0s]

How about the bloke that complained to his tech support about having to replace his coffee cup holder because it kept retracting back into his computer everytime he started his system up??

Warren

[rogerb]

Nice one Warren

[Stephanie]

Caller: Help! I can't read my floppy disk!
Tech: What kind of floppy is it?
Caller: It's one of those big old black ones; I had to fold it in half to get it in the drive...

Caller: How come every other mouse I've seen has two button things on top but mine just has this funny rolly ball thing?

Caller: My screen just went black.
Tech: Do you have a screen saver installed?
Caller: I don't think so.
Tech: Try pressing any key.
Caller: I don't have an "any" key.
Tech (after a short pause on hold while attempting to regain control somewhat): Try clicking your mouse.
Caller (after short delay and some crashing around sounds): I can't find it.
Tech: It should be plugged into your keyboard or the back of your computer.
Caller: No, it's not that. It's dark in here.
Tech (bracing for the obvious): Dark?
Caller: Yes, the power just went out before I called you.