Post by guilty on May 20, 2007 11:12:55 GMT
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
12:30 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVOURITE!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top
of the stairs next time.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile people,
I again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair.
Note-to-self: I think I'll try relieving myself under their bed, too.
Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Shoot!
Not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "ellergeez".
Must learn what the Hell this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a bloody half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.
Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time.
7:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
12:30 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
1:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
4:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
5:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
7:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVOURITE!
9:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVOURITE!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top
of the stairs next time.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile people,
I again induced myself to vomit on their favourite chair.
Note-to-self: I think I'll try relieving myself under their bed, too.
Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Shoot!
Not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise
and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "ellergeez".
Must learn what the Hell this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a bloody half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move.
Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is
preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time.