Post by satman10 on May 15, 2007 12:06:26 GMT
What they really mean....
Lonely Hearts Women's Ads:
40-ish.............................49
Adventurer.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic...........................No breasts
Average looking.............Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful.........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile............Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated........................Banged her Polititics professor
Emotionally Secure.........On medication
Free spirit.......................Junkie
Friendship first................Trying to live down reputation as a very *friendly* person
Fun.................................Annoying
Gentle............................Comatose
Good Listener................Borderline Autistic
New-Age.......................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned................Lights out,missionary position only.
Open-minded.................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.....................Sloppy when drunk
Poet...............................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional...................Certified bitch
Redhead.......................Bad hair dye-job
Reubenesque................Grossly fat
Romantic........................Looks better by candle light
Social.............................Has been passed around a bit
Voluptuous.....................Very fat
Wants Soulmate............Stalker-widow - drove first husband to suicide
Young at heart...............Old
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.........................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.......................Watches a lot of sports on TV
Average looking.........Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................….Will patronize the nuts out of you
Free Spirit.................. Banging your sister
Friendship first............ As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun.............................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking..............Arrogant
Very good looking........Thick as 2 short planks
Honest........................Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. .....Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle............Insecure mummy's boy
Mature........................ Older than your father
Open-minded..............Wants to sleep with your mate
Poet............................Wrote ex-girlfriend's no. in a phonebox
Sensitive.....................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.............Gay
Spiritual......................Got laid in a cemetery once
Thoughtful.................Says "Excuse me" when he breaks wind
Lonely Hearts Women's Ads:
40-ish.............................49
Adventurer.....................Slept with all your friends
Athletic...........................No breasts
Average looking.............Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful.........................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile............Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated........................Banged her Polititics professor
Emotionally Secure.........On medication
Free spirit.......................Junkie
Friendship first................Trying to live down reputation as a very *friendly* person
Fun.................................Annoying
Gentle............................Comatose
Good Listener................Borderline Autistic
New-Age.......................All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned................Lights out,missionary position only.
Open-minded.................Desperate
Outgoing........................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.....................Sloppy when drunk
Poet...............................Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional...................Certified bitch
Redhead.......................Bad hair dye-job
Reubenesque................Grossly fat
Romantic........................Looks better by candle light
Social.............................Has been passed around a bit
Voluptuous.....................Very fat
Wants Soulmate............Stalker-widow - drove first husband to suicide
Young at heart...............Old
MEN'S ADS
40-ish.........................52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.......................Watches a lot of sports on TV
Average looking.........Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................….Will patronize the nuts out of you
Free Spirit.................. Banging your sister
Friendship first............ As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun.............................Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking..............Arrogant
Very good looking........Thick as 2 short planks
Honest........................Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. .....Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Likes to cuddle............Insecure mummy's boy
Mature........................ Older than your father
Open-minded..............Wants to sleep with your mate
Poet............................Wrote ex-girlfriend's no. in a phonebox
Sensitive.....................Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive.............Gay
Spiritual......................Got laid in a cemetery once
Thoughtful.................Says "Excuse me" when he breaks wind