Post by satman10 on Apr 13, 2007 19:02:49 GMT
Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual and problems, known as submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the
engineers.
**********************************************
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3, and
4 propellers lack normal seepage.
P: Something loose in thingypit.
S: Something tightened in thingypit.
P: 'Dead' bugs on windshield.
S: 'Live' bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in 'OFF'mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right,
and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in thingypit.
S: Cat installed!
Here are some actual and problems, known as submitted by QUANTAS pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
P = The problem logged by the pilot.
S = The solution and action taken by the
engineers.
**********************************************
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
S: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
P: No. 2 propeller seeping prop fluid.
S: No. 2 propeller seepage normal. No's 1, 3, and
4 propellers lack normal seepage.
P: Something loose in thingypit.
S: Something tightened in thingypit.
P: 'Dead' bugs on windshield.
S: 'Live' bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200
fpm descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in 'OFF'mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right,
and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with words.
P: Mouse in thingypit.
S: Cat installed!
