Post by crguitarman on Mar 6, 2007 16:42:33 GMT
For a brief while I was part of a six-piece band - most of these little jokes resulted from being around those people. I've chosen just a few and tried not to leave anyone in the band out.
Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless
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Q: What is the difference between a drum solo and the world as we know it?
A: The world as we know it will eventually end.
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Q: How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - the whole world revolves around THEM!
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Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, all the rest just stand around him and tell him how they could have done it better.
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MY FAVORITE JOKE
Three men were walking along a beach when they found a bottle that had washed up on the sand. They pulled the cork and out popped a big Genie who told them that he had three wishes, but since there were three of them, they could all have just one wish each.
The first man was a farmer from Oklahoma and he was a lover of the land, so he asked the genie to keep his fields forever fertile so that his family and their descendants could farm it forever.
"Done," said the Genie.
The second man was a redneck from Texas and he went on a long rant about how Texas was for Texans and he didn't like the Mexicans coming up from the south and he really didn't like all the Yankees moving down from the north.
He looked at the Genie and said "What I want is a great big wall all around Texas. I want it big enough and strong enough to keep out everyone who isn't a real Texan."
The Genie shrugged and said, "Done."
The third man was from Colorado and he really didn't care that much for the guy from Texas. He looked at the Genie and said, "Tell me about this wall you just put around Texas."
The Genie explained. "The wall is three hundred feet high, a hundred fifty feet thick and nothing, I mean nothing, can get in or out."
The Coloradan gazed thoughtfully at the Texan, then turned to the Genie and said:
"Fill it with water."
;D Now I don't care who you are, that's funny. Okay, maybe not to Texans...
For the record, my father and three brothers live in Texas (former Yankees) and my mother winters there. My dear sister, who sent me this joke, lives in Colorado - go figure.
Q: What do you call a bass player without a girlfriend?
A: Homeless
----------
Q: What is the difference between a drum solo and the world as we know it?
A: The world as we know it will eventually end.
----------
Q: How many lead singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None - the whole world revolves around THEM!
----------
Q: How many lead guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Just one, all the rest just stand around him and tell him how they could have done it better.
----------
MY FAVORITE JOKE
Three men were walking along a beach when they found a bottle that had washed up on the sand. They pulled the cork and out popped a big Genie who told them that he had three wishes, but since there were three of them, they could all have just one wish each.
The first man was a farmer from Oklahoma and he was a lover of the land, so he asked the genie to keep his fields forever fertile so that his family and their descendants could farm it forever.
"Done," said the Genie.
The second man was a redneck from Texas and he went on a long rant about how Texas was for Texans and he didn't like the Mexicans coming up from the south and he really didn't like all the Yankees moving down from the north.
He looked at the Genie and said "What I want is a great big wall all around Texas. I want it big enough and strong enough to keep out everyone who isn't a real Texan."
The Genie shrugged and said, "Done."
The third man was from Colorado and he really didn't care that much for the guy from Texas. He looked at the Genie and said, "Tell me about this wall you just put around Texas."
The Genie explained. "The wall is three hundred feet high, a hundred fifty feet thick and nothing, I mean nothing, can get in or out."
The Coloradan gazed thoughtfully at the Texan, then turned to the Genie and said:
"Fill it with water."
;D Now I don't care who you are, that's funny. Okay, maybe not to Texans...
For the record, my father and three brothers live in Texas (former Yankees) and my mother winters there. My dear sister, who sent me this joke, lives in Colorado - go figure.
